Friday, September 24, 2010

ummm yeah

Dude - i have been at work for 25 minutes and i already want to pull my hair out.

I have this one rep that calls into me all the time and is always like giddy laughing.....except it isn't a nice/fun laugh - it is a "you are so stupid Katie, let me tell you why" kind of laugh.

And in reality he is always wrong.

I can't help it if he is a big freaking idiot and doesn't scroll down to page 2 of his attachments.

I can't help it either that I want to cringe every time i say his name.

It is Grayfeather.

That is his name.

Nothing against american indians either. I hate this guy and i hate his name because I don't even think this guy is an indian.

I get the feeling that he was maybe in Indian guides (like a girl scout) or something and that Grayfeather is just a nickname. His email address is doug@______

I want to kill myself every time he calls.

8:15 is way too early for a "you are stupid Katie" call.
just felt like venting.

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Young Forever?

You know that one Katie Perry song that goes something like:
"you cant put your hands on me my skin tight jeans
I can be your teenage dream

well this "one guy I know" changed the lines to that song.....and all the changes were inspired by my hot tamale-ness these days. You have to love being serenaded with words like:

"you can put your hands on me in my ELASTIC JEANS"
la la la la......

Catchy right???
I definitely laughed but ummmmm Yep- Its official. It has been confirmed that i am the polar opposite of Katie Perry's inspiration for that song.
"Young forever" my ass. I am waiting for the 2 year follow up where Katie Perry tells me how "teenage dreamy" she feels in her 10 inch elastic waisted maternity jeans. THAT would be a hit in my books....maybe "that guy i know" could help her out with the lyrics?
So anyways for all of you young bishes that love that song (and in all seriousness I really do like it too)You need to know that despite the fact that you may look something like this now:
This is "teenage" Katie circa 2001 in a reject model photo.

You might also look more like the picture below once you decide that growing up is fun and that you want to start a family of really cute little babies....The hip bones - okay all of your bones - at least temporarily get traded in for this puff pastry:
That is the truth.
You will not feel young. You probably wont feel super hot.
But it is fun.....
I promise.
And you can still sing songs about people your babysitters age and act like it is still about you and your young hotness. Just don't do it out loud, or the people around you might call you out.
oh yeah - and don't think for one second that i think the skinny picture is some hot shot of me - my face looks ridic. I just wanted to reminisce with myself and remember the times when my body fat was less than 40% and i still ate in-n-out like 13 times a week.

Thursday, September 9, 2010

wedding season

do you want to know what is "sweet" about being pregnant?
Umm every effing dress made to fit your body looks like this fug creation above.
is it so much to ask that i want to look glamorous and put together at the upcoming nuptials of my friends??? Just becasue i am pregnant doesn't mean that i am boring. I want something fabulous and unless I find something stretchy (in a big big size) that was meant to fit a human shaped person (that i can manage to stretch over the bump) I am sentenced to looking like an amish secretary at all 3 weddings i have coming up.
And dont try to comfort me with the cute shoes/cute accessories bit. I hate accessories. Big earings will only make me feel more ridiculous.
I swear i have checked everywhere. Even the seemingly talented designers who happen to have maternity lines completely disappoint and insist that you wear a round neck, knee length, fugtastic, run of the mill, church dress.
there is only one length and one neckline available....and that length.....and that neckline..... is suck!!!!!!
don't count on seeing a lot of pictures of these weddings i will be attending....unless of course one of you happens to know someone at BCBG that wants to make me a drapey, sexy, pregnant godess dress :)

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

you might have heard....

Maybe i mentioned it on here before, but ummmm Pat and I are having a baby.
Its a girl (we think - ummmmm 70% girl according to the doctors if you will remember)

According to my baby ticker (that scared the crap out of me today)she is set to arrive in only 101 days (that is if she is a planner, like her dad, and she decides that being born on her due date is a good idea).

I know that there is no way to plan, but one thing i do know is that we are going to meet this baby in a maximum of 107 days.

She will be born by Christmas.
Holy Heart Attack.
that is really soon.

I do have a crib, i do have a changing table, I do have baby skinny jeans but ummm everything else????


That's what the future is for. Right?
So how the heck is the "future" coming up so quickly?

I need to buy the essentials: a car seat, a boppy, diapers, wipes, a giant dairy milking cow pump...the list goes on and on. This REALLY is happening.


Help me out - clearly anyone that buys skinny jeans for a baby is nuts. I need to know - what are the essentials?? what is something i seriously cant live without??? Really, if you wouldn't mind, leave me a little comment. I need to cross check my registry and cover all my bases. It would be greatly appreciated :)

*Sidenote on the skinny jeans: I realize there is probably a 0% chance that i will be able to get these on and/or off of my baby...they are kinda just for show....if you saw the tiny little butt on these jeans you sooooo would have bought them too!!!....oh and you should also know that i bought turquoise flats to go with these baby jeans. I die.

**2nd sidenote: Do you realize....that there is a 30% chance that my baby girl is really a boy? do you also realize that i wont have another ultrasound until the week after my baby shower? Just imagine the blog post when i find out at 30+ weeks that the crystal chandelier, pink bedding, rug, drapes, and every single piece of clothing has to be returned or packed away. I would(seriously) DIE if that turns out to be the cse.....not becasue it is a boy.....that would be equally as amazing. I would die knowing that i have to re-plan EVERYTHING. lol....can you imagine? that would happen to me.