Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Top 10 Reasons I HATE Winter

( No clue why i have been posting such heinous looking pictures of myself lately, but i thought this one was funny and appropriate) :)
  1. It is beyond depressing to have to stay indoors at all times.
  2. You get fat becasue you have to stay indoors, and when you do, nothing sounds better than eating really thick soups and crock pot dinners.
  3. Snow friendly shoes are so ugly....not for everyone, but when you are hugely tall -like myself - the cute tall heels and boots tend to make me look like a tranny lumberjack woman ( i am definitely more in favor of flipflops and flats year round)
  4. My skin is seriously albino right now and becasue of the lack of pigment I overcompensate with makeup (especially bronzer) - then the light changes and I realize that i look like a clown.
  5. My skin is so dry I can't even stand it. Baby oil, body butter, straight Vitamin E oil.....nothing does the trick.
  6. My lips are corpse-like which forces me to turn to Carmex (which I hate becasue it tastes like death and has crack like qualities) . You can't use it just once. Even though it momentarily fixes my chapped lips I also have my suspicions that it is the cause too. Just like crack, it makes you feel good - but then once the "feel good" wares off it start s to chap your lips even more so you just keep applying it over and over again - all the while blaming the weather when it is also probably the lip balm brand I picked....see - JUST like crack!
  7. You are never the right temperature. When I watch the news and get dressed in the morning it is hard to put anything other than a huge sweater on and even though I know the heat will be pumping at ridiculous levels at work I still can't fathom the walk from the parking lot without the sweater.....so then i sit in my desk miserable, hot, and itchy until lunch time or when i go home for the day when (once again) I will be freezing to the point of convulsions. It sucks.
  8. When you live in a wintery place like Ohio people think it is fun to tell you (over and over and over again) how warm it is where they are living. My parents are especially guilty of this. Most of our phone calls go something like this: katie "hey mom....my car door is frozen shut - weird huh?" mom: "yeah that is weird. I am just finishing up golf because I need to swing by the beach and go out on the boat later in my tank top." katie: "sweet. FML"
  9. No one comes to visit you. Who ever (myself included) has taken a vacation to a snowy place that does not include skiing or snowboarding?
  10. It is SOOOOOOOO long. The cold never seems to end. October through May I am cold, chapped, dry, clownish and lumberjacky. ewww.

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